Knowing
I find myself reflecting a lot lately about the moment in time when I knew instinctively that I needed to do something different. After finding the integrative treatments for cancer I needed to move forward and during the wait to get into Northwestern, Jan and I prayed for healing. In that moment I knew I had not only been healed but that I had to believe that I was healed. This was not a time to give up. In that small window of time I remember thinking about what my options were and I knew that it would have to be a total surrender. We had prayed and asked for healing believing that it had already happened. The next step was to totally surrender and to visualize healing. This is where my definition of surrender would change from one of giving up to one of believing in something bigger than me. An inspired belief to believe that God had the ability to heal, to then visualize healing and be in agreement with God.
I would set for hours and visualize healing, listening to uplifting music and words of affirmation. My one and only goal was to once again be healthy. Everything else took a back seat to this goal of health and wholeness. And yet it was out of this quiet time in my life that I was able to write a book. There were days it seemed that the book wrote itself. I started out journaling what was happening only to find myself going back to a previous time in my life and telling my story.
And now feeling so incredibly blessed and at a healthier time in my life, I find myself once again in a place of busyness. There are days I feel like God is asking me to just be not do. I look back to that small window of time, to that place of knowing and I find myself asking if it is possible to live there in the real world as we are in the midst of our busy lives.
My life has taken on a new busyness as I learn how to deal with the editing and publishing of my book. I am finding there is a lot to learn and some days it seems overwhelming. What if we could find that place of peace and knowing for everything in our lives, not just the big monumental things, but all things. Why do we continually try to pound the square peg into the round hole?
I am finding that life would be pretty boring if I didn’t have goals that would propel me forward. However, I find myself setting goals from a place of knowing and inspiration rather than from a place of limited beliefs and outdated ways of thinking. Are we so controlling to think the outcome can be only one way? What if we could be quiet long enough to hear the still small voice and be inspired enough to act on it and work from a place of excitement instead of a place of this is how I have always done it? And what if it turns out to be something better, something we could not have even dreamed of? Oh, to live in that aha moment, that peaceful state of knowing.
Always find you remarkable, and your story of healing amazing, inspiring, and uplifting!
All my best,
Grateful,
Margaret
Margaret, thank you for your kind words and for following me on this journey.
Hmm…you make a very interesting, and I believe important point. It’s one I have pondered a lot myself. I do think it is possible. And perhaps even the way we were meant to function from a spiritual perspective. It seems to be a very challenging balancing act. It’s like being in the world but not of the world. But I think that once you have been able to get to that point, or maybe I should say have been forced into it, you are ahead of most in the game. You at least know what it feels like and what you are striving for! Thanks for continuing to share your insights, Mary.
Thank you Arlene for sharing your insight and for supporting me in this journey.